The Error of the Toup Made Simple

This is exactly what is wrong with the average baldy's conception of the head rug.

In mid-July of the year 2019, this fellow from a South American country which shall not be named because I feel it has suffered enough, stuck $34G worth of cocaine on his head, slapped a wig on top, and sauntered into customs at Barcelona's international airport, casually whistling a little tune to assure everyone he was perfectly innocent and had nothing to hide, especially not on his freakishly malformed head.

This, in a nutshell, is the Toupee Delusion made manifest, him being the nut and the wig being the shell, so to speak, as it were.  Your baldy looks in the mirror and sees a tragic lack of something atop the sconce - usually just hair, but very rarely $34G worth of snort as well.  Your baldy clomps himself a big old wad of hairoid replacement substance onto his pate, slicks it down a bit, turns slightly from side to side to give it a glance, and then goes out in public with this unbelievable absurdity atop his cranium, benignly thinking to himself, "Yeah, I got this, I am luking gude.  Hello ladies, (or Customs Officers in some rare cases like this one), here comes mister realhair who is not bald at all, and is certainly not concealing umptyjillion bucks worth of blow on top of his damn head because who would do that?  That would be crazy!  No, I am PERFECTLY NORMAL looking.  PERFECTLY NORMAL."

Which just goes to show you how wrong a guy can be.