SMART!

Rather than just perching atop the naked dome like a scrap of scruffy carpet and making you look like a schmuck, wouldn't it be better for a phony hairpiece to actually DO something?  Like monitor your vital signs, remotely control electronic devices, or navigate via GPS?  OF COURSE IT WOULD.  That's why the Smart Wig exists.  That doesn't mean we don't still love the Stupid Wigs of the world.
 

'Smart' wig navigates by GPS, monitors brainwaves

TOKYO —

Are you both bald AND lost? Then the new “SmartWig” from Japan might be just what you need.

Wearers of the Presentation Wig will be able to remotely control a laser pointer from their mop-top. They can move forward through a PowerPoint slideshow by tugging the right sideburn and go back a page by pulling on the left.

The Navigation Wig uses GPS to speak to satellites and guide users to their destination with tiny vibrations on different parts of the head.

Meanwhile, the Sensing Wig monitors body temperature, blood pressure and brainwaves and can also record sounds and images to allow wearers to playback their day and see what set their systems aflutter.

And so forth.